Home Emotional Healing Have you ever been struck with bad luck?
Have you ever been struck with bad luck?

There are two choices we need to make when we are struck with bad luck. We can either use it as a catalyst for an extraordinary life, or we can use that as an excuse and not live our lives to the fullest.

If there is one thing I despise most that would be irresponsible self help gurus asking people to blindly accept  every bad thing that happened in their lives. This is a dangerous idea, undiscriminatingly taking aggression and forgiving can actually drive a person into depression. Before we decide to forgive someone, we need to make sure that we learn something from the situation and learn to protect ourselves from similar incidents in the future.

If you are running out of luck, I advice you to try both of the following: change the environment and how you interpret events.

Changing the environment and our behaviors

Most people actually tried to use their unfortunate life events as a catalyst. But not everyone is successful. Why? Because certain inconveniences and environmental limitations exist. However, if we look carefully we can always find ways to overcome these limitations.

Very often, our environments can be changed. To an extend, we can choose not to be around with negative people who drag us down. With a plan, we can gradually let go of self sabotaging behaviors that keep us feeling small. We can make conscious choices to let go of old habits, and replace them with habits that actually propel us forward. If you have a problem of overeating, then replacing chips and ice creams with nuts, green tea and fresh juices in the fridge can help you manage your diet. If you are surrounded by mean spirited people, you may want to minimize your contact with them as you know it is important to be around people who give you support and nurture.

If lacking assertiveness and letting people walk over you is your problem, you may want to learn how to draw healthy boundaries by taking assertiveness classes or observing how other people do it. If being too assertive and pushy is your problem, you can always experiment being a little nicer and see how people would react to that. When we change how we interact with the world around us, it is almost guranteed that the world will change how it interacts with us too. The balance may not be obvious, but if you are carefully and sensitive enough to notice the differences, you will learn find the optimal way of engaging

The other thing we can change is our effort level, our intensity. Luck is preparation meets opportunity. You may have heard of this, and there is some truth in it. Sometimes we have to create our own luck by working harder and maintaining good relationships with the right people.

Changing our interpretation

Changing our interpretation of events also prevent us from feeling depressed. Sometimes we automatically draw conclusions about situations which are not only premature, sometimes they are downright illogical. For example, if your partner is not as loving and affectionate as before, you may automatically associate this with the new flirty secretary in his office. You start to imagine all the scenarios, in your mind you imagine all these conversations that don't exist. You get upset. When you feel that your love is not reciprocated, you picks fights with him and further alienate him. If you open your mind and do a bit of analysis and observation, you may find that his lack of affection may be the result of an impending layoff in his company - he's simply stressed. By not jumping to conclusion and using facts (instead of emotions) to judge, we can avoid a lot of unnecessary conflict and fights.

Learning not to judge so quickly is not an easy task, but I promise you you will benefit from this change. We have to accept that our interpretation is not always fair nor accurate. Everyone of us can recall a situation or two where we wrongly assumed things about people. In most cases, we only have bits and pieces of information to rely on. We don't always have all the facts necessary to draw a logically sound conclusion. If the decision isn't significant enough, we seldom go out of our way to collect the facts and statistics before passing our judgment. When we quickly judge somebody based on what we learned or heard - often through third parties who may have their own agendas - the accuracy or fairness of the decision is questionable. When we open our heart and don't assume the worst of people, we avoid unnecessary conflicts, dramas and distractions. Instead we can focus solely on what we need to do - to improve our own chances of success and to defy more odds.